Drink Water and Mind Your Business by Dr. Donna Oriowo

Author:Dr. Donna Oriowo [Oriowo, Donna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks

Part 2

Mind Your Matter

At this point, we move into section two of the book. There is a quote that says something like fifty percent of success is inspiration, and the other fifty percent is perspiration. I would hope that by this point, we should be at around fifty percent inspiration. We have intimate knowledge, and that can inspire us to do some work. So, now we move!

So far, we have gotten really deep into understanding what makes up self-esteem and all the ways we are impacted by it. What I like about Part 1 of this book most of all is that, while I have asked you to take responsibility for your healing, I have already noted that we don’t get hurt in isolation. But what I like about Part 2 is that we move from the part where we know better, to where we do better. If you think knowing better was a doozy, then be forewarned that doing better is a whole other ballgame.

So, how do we get to doing the actual work? Well, I suggest remembering one thing: this is going to be difficult. It is going to feel “not right,” but that’s only because it’s unfamiliar. To assist us, we make sure we have accountability partners and friends who we can talk to. I also suggest having a list of coping skills to lean on when you are feeling like it’s all too much. If you find it necessary, get a therapist on board.

A few other things to remember: While we are doing the work, we are not comparing ourselves to where we think others are or where we “should” be. This is not a competition. The folk around you are in collaboration for healing. It’s not that you are trying to “get to” the destination of healing before anyone else. So, this is where I bring my momma back into it and remind you, as she reminded me, to “face your front.” Take your time, read this part through, go back armed with a highlighter, and when you work it, do so with community.

Please remember that “healed” is not a destination. Healing is not linear, and it is very likely never done. This process is cyclical, nonlinear, and hard AF. Besides that, moving in new ways is a habit that has to be built over time. The same way you were in thoughtless patterns of self-hurt, it takes time to build up patterns of self-healing. If it took you thirty years to get here, to a place where you are ready to heal, then please don’t get down on yourself for not “figuring it out” and “getting it right” in a few days. That’s not even fair. Remember, healing is a process, but it does require you to mind your matter. You got this!

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